questions for you

“one day-”
why not today?
tomorrow’s so far away

“next year-”
i’m tired of waiting.
can you hurry faster?

“you’re too young-”
i know what you think,
but i understood a long time ago.

“in real life-”
what was all of this, then?
a free trial?

“i can’t help-”
wait, huh?
where’re you going?
“i’ll be back tomorrow!”
no, i need your help!

so, how about now?
“no.”
now?
“nope.”
what about-
“you’re grown up, right? just leave me alone!”
wait, no!
that’s not what i meant!

come back!!

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Children of Blood and Bone /~/ wowza i want more

dude.

dude.

This book was literally so on point with what I expected, okay? I wanted epic African-inspired fantasy with ton of magic, and I got what I wanted. There has been a ton of hype surrounding this book,,, and let me just say I totally understand why.

goodreads

Pros
– that! cover! (i am a shallow aesthetics loving hooman bean okay)
– rich african fantasy- my dudes this was an engrossing story and the gods and monarchy and magic were just so !!! (disclaimer: we are gonna be seeing a whole lotta exclamation points)
– amari is my daughter and i will protect her and why yes, i know she can kill people
-Zélie felt slightly antiheroish (like not young elites adelina level but still) and i live for grey morality okay
-WOW siblings! in fantasy! (although, not #siblinggoals level you know, with all that evil betrayal  going on
– that author’s note is something everyone needs to pay attention to and hats off to adeyemi

Cons
– there was a plot twist but i found it a little bit predictable- but. i read a lot. so you may or may not care about this.
– the romance felt so. forced. It was a relationship that was completely unnecessary and lackluster and bleggghhhh

Representation: African characters

Trigger warnings: gory character death

Overall Rating: 4.5 stars

my dudes, if you like fantasy like,,, at all- read this. if you don’t like fantasy (what are you doing with your life) read this

falling

the last days of freedom
taste of fear and regret
summer departs her throne
only for fall to creep in

falling leaves, falling spirits, falling faith
who can tell the difference?
we could, once
when falling down
didn’t mean falling on us

as the nights get longer,
so do the periods of despair
it’s cold clutch reaches where it couldn’t before
clammy hands pulling my face into a placating smile

we are servants to our anxiety
forced into movement by our desperation for perfection
merely a puppet, so i cannot scream
disassociation is our only disconnect

and yet,
failing is destructive
only if you care enough to let it.
i scream, muting the ticking of my timer.
i can only let go of pain…
if i let go of me

so i fall,

fall,

fall,
into peace.

 

We got 50 followers! Thank you so much, everybody!

me

society tells me to be me
and changes its mind when i say change society
tell me what you mean, what you think first
i don’t wanna be smoothed down
i don’t wanna be appreciated if it means i’m not me
i don’t wanna be romanticized
take me for who i am
sharp edges and broken parts
or don’t take me at all
don’t reduce me to what you see-
tall, or shy, or loud, or fat
i am a person first,
and everything else next

promises

in january,
she had promised
what seemed like the easiest things
and yet, they vanished
in a
blink
gone
as soon as it came

in the middle of the year,
she remembers her promises
the easiest wishes and dreams
and yet, she moves on
in a
blink
gone
as soon as she came

fear

why not?
you think that
i hide because i fear
no, no, i hide
because you will fear

alone
because no one was
brave
or maybe because
i wasn’t brave
no one was enough

we haunt each other
with the thought of what could
have
been
once i looked at you
and hoped

and then the veil lifted
and hope broke into a
thousand pieces

staggering sanity, ready to
give up,
no explanations
for you, no , none for you
all beauty morphing

into the stark
unfamiliarity of life

out of order

out of order
can mean messed up,
or it can mean broken
just politely

you can never see what’s wrong
when it is out of order
sick on the inside
but normal, like everyone else
on the outside
never had a chance, not from
them

the stares judge
before a word is spoken
you can dissolve
before you fully form
they say,
“oh, out of order”
then, they hide
and stalk, waiting for new prey

superheroes

we are surrounded by
superheroes, you know
we all fight battles, we all
have our weaknesses

we don’t need to sit around
for someone else, we
have our own talents, our own
superpower

we fall down everyday
but we got up, went
farther, put our
fears behind us, kept going
we all have a superpower, but does it make us any
less?

lost as we are, we’ll make it
somewhere, don’t drown in your
worries, there’s always something for
our future

fight your battles
don’t give up, because
you’re working for a future
that is completely
yours
how else would it happen?